The Ducks in Motley now have their first medieval script. I would like some critical input to let me know if I am on the right track or not. This is the first puppet script I have written and I am trying to do a screening if you will to gauge public reaction. Can you tell I am nervous?



Narrator
The Ducks in Motley would like to present to you for your enjoyment a scene from The Tragedy of Macbeth. What we are about to witness is Act Four, Scene One the famous cauldron speech.  Playing the part of the witches are Esme,

(Enter 1st puppet Esme)

Narrator
2nd puppet,

(Enter 2nd puppet "2nd puppet")

Narrator
And 3rd puppet

(Enter 3rd puppet "3rd puppet")

Narrator
Now let’s set the atmosphere. We are in a dark cave. (Pause to look at the witches)

All Witches
(Looking around at scenery nodding)

Narrator
Thunder sounds over head.

Witch
Ahem.

Narrator
(Narrator looks to witches) What is it?

Witch    
(Shaking head waves Narrator over. After narrator approaches, witch mimics whispers).

Narrator
(With back to the Audience) Sound effects were not in the budget? When did we get a budget? (Mimic conversation from witch) Then I can assume that I will get paid this time?

All Witches
(Looking way to deliberately avoid the question)

      
Narrator
(With exasperated a sigh, facing Audience) Fine, let’s just get on with it.

   
All Witches
(Quickly snap back to Narrator with double takes and quick nods).

Narrator
Between the three, a Caldron boiling (Pause and look to the witches).

Witch
(Stage Exit witch.)
(Enter witch with the cauldron)
      
Narrator
That’s it? You know that it should be boiling.

(Witch exits stage and the smoke machine is activated. Once back on stage takes a bow eliciting a reaction from the crowd)

Narrator
Oh I see. We can afford smoke but I can’t even get minimum wage.

All Witches
(Witches open mouths to make excuses and are interrupted by Narrator)

Narrator
No you can’t explain your way out if this one. We will talk later. Let’s just get this over with. (Facing back to the audience)  In this scene the three witches have been given a task by the Queen of the witches, Hecate. Previously the witches provided Macbeth with information and the Queen is upset for not being included and for the fact that the witches did not take the opportunity to mess with Macbeth’s head. The Queen now wants the witches to create a concoction that will summon spirits that will give Macbeth false prophesies.  Watch now as they create their magic.

(Exit Narrator)

Witch 1
Thrice the brinded cat hath mew'd.

Witch 2
Thrice and once, the hedge-pig whin'd.

Esme
Harpier cries:—'tis time! 'tis time!

Witch 1
Round about the caldron go. In the poison'd entrails throw.
Toad, that under cold stone, Days and nights has thirty-one.

Witch 2
Wait a sec. How did you get toad to stay under a stone for 31 days in the cold no less?
   
Witch 1
You don’t want to know.

Esme and Witch 2
(Exchange looks and shrugs)
      
Witch 2
Ok.

Witch 1
Swelter'd venom sleeping got, Boil thou first i' the charmed pot!
     
Witch 2
Hold it! You got sweltered venom from sleeping, really?
   
Witch 1
Again, you really don’t want to know.

(Witch 2 and Esme share looks and shakes of heads)
   
Witch 2
If you say so.

All Witches
Double, double toil and trouble, fire burn, and caldron bubble.

Witch 2
Fillet of a fenny snake, in the caldron boil and bake;
Eye of newt, and toe of frog, wool of bat, and tongue of dog,
Adder's fork, and blind-worm's sting, lizard's leg, and owlet's wing,—
For a charm of powerful trouble, like a heck-broth boil and bubble.
      
Esme
Stop! Stop! Really? Heck broth?

Witch 2
Well I figured there might be children in the audience.
      
Witch 1
She does have a point.
      
Esme
This is classic literature I think we get a pass to say hell-broth. It is not like we are acting out Grand Theft Auto and Macbeth is beating to death some poor matron and stealing her carriage.

Witch 2
(Shaking head in disbelief)   

Witch 1
Why do you always do this?

Esme
What?

Witch 2
Let’s just get back to the play.

Esme
I’m just saying.

Witch 1
Fine! Whatever! Are we ready?

Esme and Witch 2
(Nods)

All Witches
Double, double toil and trouble, fire burn, and caldron bubble.
 
Witch 1
Scale of dragon; tooth of wolf; Witches' mummy…

Witch 2
Witches’ mummy? Come on.

Witch 1
I keep telling you, you don’t want to know.

Witch 2
Ok, but I Am telling YOU this is starting to get freaky even for us.

Witch 1
Now, maw and gulf of the ravin'd salt-sea shark
Root of hemlock digg'd i the dark
Liver of blaspheming Jew

Esme and Witch 2
(Shocked double take to speaking witch with shocked intake)

Witch 1
Don’t look at me. Who knew Willy was anti-Semitic? (Slight pause).
Can I continue? (Agreement from the other witches).
Liver of bl…

Witch 2
(Interrupting) Well don’t say it again!

Esme
Yeah, once was bad enough!

Witch 1
Fine! Gall of goat, and slips of yew
Sliver'd in the moon's eclipse; nose of Turk, and Tartar's lips (Pause and look at other witches)
   
Witch 2
What?

Esme
Yeah, what?

Witch 1
All up in arms about the Jews, but nothing for the Turks or Tartars?

Witch 2
I really don’t care one way or the other about the Turks.
      
Esme
Serves them Tartars right though. Always so uppity.

Witch 1
How’s that?

Witch 2
This ought to be good.

Esme
With them it’s always, “THIS IS TARTA!” Just gets on your nerves.

Witch 1
You know that’s not….
   
Witch 2
I knew it, just let it go and get back to the play.

Witch 1
Finger of birth-strangled babe

Witch 2
(Opens mouth to make a comment)

Esme
(Quick take to Witch 1) Don’t! Just let THAT go (looking to Witch 1) continue.
   
Witch 1
Ditch-deliver'd by a drab, make the gruel thick and slab:
Add thereto a tiger's chaudron, for the ingredients of our caldron.

      
All Witches
Double, double toil and trouble; fire burn, and caldron bubble.
     
Witch 1
Cool it with a baboon's blood, then the charm is firm and good.

Witch 2
Ok that’s it, how did you get baboon’s blood?
         
Witch 1
Opens mouth to speak)

Witch 2
And don’t tell me I don’t want to know!

Witch 1
Alright then, come here.

(Witch 1 whispers to Witch 2 with reactions of shock from Witch 2 while Esme watches on)

Witch 2
Oh... my....
How could you…?
Is that even legal?
If they don’t burn you at the stake for being a witch they will for that!

(Witches separate. Witch 2 is taking deep breaths while Witch 1 and Esme watch on)

Witch 2
The things you said. The things you did! Why didn’t you just say what you said before?
   
Witch 1
You said you wanted to know! So, now you know!

Esme
(Looking to the crowd) And knowing is half the battle.

All Witches
(Singing) Gee Eye Joe!

(Witches bow and Exit)

I really like it. I am afraid I'm missing some of the finer points (being up to date in English is hard enough, but ye olde English is too much for me), but I think it is funny.

Pretty good. I do think you missed a great opportunity with the thunder to have audience participation. You could let them do the sound effects.  I know at this point you only have one the thunder but you could have wind also at the very least. I bet there could be others.  I bet there could be other parts where the audience could get involved. I spent three years on the Ren Fair circuit and did many more years in my home town. Seems the most popular acts all included the audience in the show.   In fact that was a big part of the old Punch and Judy. Questions would be ask of them by the puppets or they where given task such as looking out for something or someone and then hollering something when they did see it or them.