I am thinking of attempting another crowdfunding campaign, trying to raise the money needed to have my mascot turned into a puppet.  I was wondering if I could get some critique of the "story" so far:

[preview removed]

That is a preview mode, the campaign is not live and I am not sure when it will go live.  The bad main image will be replaced by a video that I will film tommorrow.  I am also still thinking out the perks.  Hate the idea of going this route, but I admit that when I launched this as a side project, I didn't really think out the financial side.  

It looks good and reads well. I think you go into too much detail showing the actual quote though.

Without a video and a range of perks it's hard for me to comment on a campaign as I think they're the two most important parts of crowdfunding.

The only real question that comes to mind is what will you do with the extra money if you exceed your goal?

Also... Making the assumption that you are going to add other perks will the remaining $63.28 be enough to produce and/or post rewards?

Jeremy,  I just sent you an email.

Julie

Thanks aaronTv.  I have removed the quote image and am currently rewording that section.  Regarding perks, that is an area that I am still debating on.  There will be video perks, and maybe a Glorified Sock Puppet perk or 2.  If I hit goal, most of the remaining money after purchase will be eaten in fees from Indiegogo and PayPal.  Have a nice stretch goal in mind, though not putting much expectation into that. 

Basic perks can be your name listed in a thank you video, cheaper perks could be your mascot or a puppet of the donators choice performing a custom video message. You have nice art, perhaps a shirt or autograph signed could be a perk, just be sure the rate covers your cost and still nets you a percent of your goal. If you include perks you may want to then consider raising your asking perhaps $250 to cover those incidentals etc.

I agree with Julie, you want to incentivize your crowd to give more, additional funds beyond your goal will provide you what? Extra materials for suite, mechs, cooling or even studio equipment.

Thanks John Arnold   I have added some simple perks and 2 higher perks.  Also took your advice on raising the goal.  Looking into things like shirts and key chains to see what I can do for a more physical perk. 

Looks like you have a good start. I do agree with the others though that you may need to increase your goal amount although it looks like maybe you have already done that. Not sure about your $5.00 perk. The fact that you don't have the website up and running already so they can see it may put some folks off. I don't mean this personally since I know you are responsible and follow through but most folks don't know you like we do.  I feel this may give the impression that you are promising something that may not happen.  Not sure about the celebrity photo op for your $200 donation. It is one thing for a celebrity to allow you to take a quick shot with you but to set up a professional shot there may be some contractual issues.  

Man I feel like a nay sayer.  Don't mean to dampen the mood but wanted to give you my honest impression.  

Regarding the celebrity photo, it is something offered at conventions.  A photo op with a celebrity costs $x and allows up to 2 or 3 people before additional charges.  As for the website, that is a good point. I have one, it just isn't finished yet.  Was wondering if I should link to a site under construction.

Regarding the celebrity photo, it is something offered at conventions.  A photo op with a celebrity costs $x and allows up to 2 or 3 people before additional charges.  As for the website, that is a good point. I have one, it just isn't finished yet.  Was wondering if I should link to a site under construction.

Don't have time to take a look right now, but reading the above: you should include a clause in case the celebrity is all booked up for some reason.

Ahh ok see now.  See not being one who has gone to many conventions (only been to one long ago) I did not realize this.