Once again I am in need of some jokes - this time about hats!  THANKS in advance!  You all are the best - I couldn't write my shows without your help!!

This is a hard one......... not to many of those around 

What did the hat say to the tie?
"You hang around here...I'll go on a head."


and another................

There was once a hat-seller who passed by a forest on his way back from the market. The weather was very hot and so he decided to take a nap under one of the trees, so he left his whole basket of hats by the side.
A few hours later, he woke up by some sounds. The next thing he realized was that all his hats was gone. He heard some monkeys on the tree and so he looked up. To his surprise, the tree was full of monkeys and they had taken all his hats.
The hat-seller sits down and think of how he can get the hats down. He think and think and start scratching his head. The next moment, he realized that the monkeys were doing the same action.
Next, he took down his own hat and saw the monkeys do exactly the same. An idea came to him, he took his hat and throw it on the floor and the monkeys do that too.
So he finally managed to get all his hats back. If you think you have read this before....., read on!!!
Fifty years later, his grandson, Jack, also became a hat-seller and had heard this monkey story from his grandfather.
One day, just like his grandfather, he passed by the same forest, it was very hot, and he took a nap under the same tree and left the hats on the floor. He woke up and realized that all his hats were gone. He looked up and realized that the monkeys had taken all the hats. He remembered his grand father's words, started scratching his head and the monkeys follows.
He took down his hat and fanned himself and again the monkeys followed. Now, very convinced of his grandfather' s idea, JACK threw his hat on the floor but to his surprise, the monkeys still hold on to all the hats.
Then one monkey climbed down the tree, grabbed the hat on the floor, gave him a slap and said "You think only you have a grandfather . . ."

Billy D.

This might not be suitable or kids, but it sure is funny. 

There was a little old lady standing at a corner. She had both hands holding her hat on while the wind blew her dress up around her waist.

A dignified southern gentleman came up and said, "Ma'am, you should be ashamed of yourself, letting your skirt blow around, being indecent, while both hands hold your hat."

She said, "Look mister, everything down there is seventy years old; this hat is brand new!"

A man takes off his hat. A few minutes later he is dead. Why?

He's an astronaut.

What kind of cap isn't removed?

Your kneecap!

A sharpshooter hung up his hat and put on a blindfold. He then walked 100 yards, turned around, and shot a bullet through his hat. The blindfold was a perfectly good one, completely blocking the man's vision. How did he manage this?

He hung his hat on the barrel of his gun.

If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.

THANKS guys!! You always come up with some great ones!!